Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I Have Three in Heaven Now

Thank you, thank you for all your prayers and sweet notes! I am blessed to be surrounded by so many caring women. All of you have been a beautiful source of encouragement to me, especially this past week.

I miscarried on April 1st. (11 wks) It went much better this time. No D&C necessary. I am doing a lot better, too. I have felt your prayers and am being held by the Comforter.

I would like to share this song with all of you who have lost a child.

double click to hear the song

Two months is too little.They let him go.They had no sudden healing.
To think that Providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.



  1. I sang this song just this past September, at a funeral for a family who had just lost their first child, a baby boy who was still born.

    Though I've sung in weddings and funerals for almost as long as I can remember, this was the hardest. It was only the grace of God that got me through.


  2. I'm very sorry for you loss. Will keep you in my prayers.

  3. Anonymous4.4.07

    May His peace be with you all today! He is risen!

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. But I am thankful that it went well and you didn't have to have the D&C and very thankful for all the consolations you have received.

    I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and will remember you little ones in heaven when I remember mine.

    God bless you and keep you and give you His peace.

  5. Dearest Linda,
    Thank you for letting us know. I am so glad that it went much better and you did not have to have a D&C.
    I'm sorry you lost this sweet little one. I'm glad you know that they are safe in the arms of Jesus.
    Still wishing there was something I could do for you....
    Much love,

  6. How wonderful it is that we can rest in His arms during trying days.

  7. dayspringdawning4.4.07

    Dear Linda,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. As a mother, my heart breaks and I cry and pray for you. May God hold you in these difficult days.

    Your testimony and life is such a blessing to me.

    Your sister in Christ,

  8. Betty4.4.07

    I never understood that song before! Actually, I'm still pondering it. Very powerful!

    I'm so glad that the Lord has carried you and protected you. I'm almost scared to remember those days, they were painful but precious as the Lord's presence was so tangible and sustaining.

    You've stored up for yourself 2 treasures in heaven already. I never thought about it in that way before, but it did bring me comfort. The Lord has continued to bring you to my mind to pray since you shared what you were going through.

    What a blessing that the Lord can go and hold and help where we cannot.

    Praying for your continued healing,

  9. Thank you for pointing others to Him, even in the midst of your own loss and pain.

    Thank you.

    (I couldn't get the sound bite thing to work, but I found the song and video here:

  10. Linda,
    Know that I am praying for you and am so sad to hear this news. God bless you and your family. Here is a song that I have often found comforting:

    Glory Baby by Watermark

    Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
    You were growing, what happened dear?
    You disappeared on us baby…baby..
    Heaven will hold you before we do
    Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
    Until we’re home with you…

    Miss you everyday
    Miss you in every way
    But we know there’s a
    day when we will hold you
    We will hold you
    You’ll kiss our tears away
    When we’re home to stay
    Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
    We will see you
    But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
    ‘till mom and dad can hold you…
    You’ll just have heaven before we do
    You’ll just have heaven before we do

    Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
    understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
    We are hurting
    But there is healing
    And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
    And in knowing-
    That all things work together for our good
    And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
    Just like He said He would…

    I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
    and what they must sound like
    But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
    And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

  11. I think the song's URL was cut off, so here is a TinyUrl version of it:

  12. I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family.

  13. Oh Linda!
    Thoughts and prayers are with you! I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but thankfull that God answered our prayers and things happened naturally. Sending you (((HUGS))) and many prayers for the days to come. Thank you for the song, it was a really teary song, but I needed that today.

  14. Anonymous4.4.07

    Dear LindaFay,
    Thank you for ministering to us through your pain.

    Praying for God's many blessings on you today,

  15. Penny in VT4.4.07

    Linda - I've been reading your blog off and on for the past six months and just had to say I'm sorry for your loss, and thank you for the song - there are many, many of us who have lost a child this way, and we all know that we all remember that child and feel that loss in our hearts always...

    My tears join yours - I hope you heal peacefully...


  16. Linda,
    Thanks for keeping us updated. I'm glad that the waiting is over, and that you didn't have to have a D&C this time. Thanks you for sharing that beautiful song with the rest of us who have known this pain.
    Continuing to pray peace and healing for you and your family.

  17. Dearest Linda,
    Thank you so much for sharing the song and your heart. We send our hugs and love to you and your family and we rejoice in knowing that you are HELD today.
    Dawn and family

  18. I'm very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

  19. I'm so sorry to hear this! I'll be praying for you and your family. Thank you for being willing to share your pain and the Lord's goodness in it.

  20. mommaofmany5.4.07

    I'm glad that you are safe...I had been praying that a D&C would not be needed. Your baby is playing at the feet of Jesus, and I pray He holds you now, in a very real fashion...

  21. Dearest Mrs. Fay
    So glad to hear you're doing better, and that you didn't have to go anywhere.

    It is peaceful to know that your babies didn't know any pain and that they are with Him!

    Bless you!

  22. I am very sorry for your loss. I've had one miscarriage, and it was a terrible experience for us. The worst though was the loss of two of our children in their teens over four years ago. I can't wait to see all three children in heaven someday.


  23. I'm so sorry, sweetie. :( My best friend in TX also had this happen a couple of years ago and it was so hard. Months later, she was pregnant again and now has a beautiful little girl. My prayers are with you. If you have never heard Watermark's "Glory Baby", it is another tear-jerker. Maybe getting the tears out is a good thing. I'm praying you'll have many smiles ahead.

  24. So sorry for your loss, but glad it all went well physically. I have at least 2 angel babies myself. It is a hard thing to go through. For me personally, it hurts so much less now that I have my two sweet girls. I still remember the dates but I don't grieve like I used to.

  25. Thank you for the beautiful song, thoughts prayers and wishes. I wish I could meet each one of you and get to know you. I really would love to do that. It has also been nice to hear from some of you that have never commented before.

    I'm still taking it easy. Not all the placenta passed until yesterday. I hope it is complete and I can get back to normal life again. Our little garden is calling.


  26. Lindafay,

    I just wanted to leave a comment with you. I discovered your precious blog just this morning.

    I will be praying for you through your loss, as you experience being held by our loving Savior.

  27. So nice to meet you, Beverly. Thank you!

  28. Miss Valerie Jean19.4.07

    Hi there, I linked here through Carried on the wind. That song by Natalie Grant has been a huge comfort for me. I first heard it 3 years after our second son was stillborn on his due date. I pray that God will continue to hold you in His lap and heal your heart and help you grieve. Blessings, Valerie